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They’re usually not as depressing as this, I promise.


Image description:


Thinking too Much to Think Positively
A comic by Xan
Undefined Object

Xan is a feminine-looking person with long hair, black on top fading to purple below. They are wearing a black t-shirt, choker and long skirt.
NARRATION: “My name is Xan, and I’m a nonbinary transgender person.”

Xan is listening to two tiny fairies: the Cis Fairy and the Trans Fairy. The Cis Fairy looks like a cis male version of Xan: black, shorter hair, a grayish purple shirt and gray pants. The Trans Fairy looks like a more traditionally feminine version of Xan: long wavy purple hair, earrings and a yellow dress. Both fairies have yellow wings.
NARRATION: “To be honest, I still don’t feel like I have a very good understanding of my gender. I have a lot of doubts and uncertainties.”
CIS FAIRY: “You’re just a cis man who wants to feel special!”
TRANS FAIRY: “You’re a trans woman who doesn’t want to commit!”

Xan is floating in a swirling void, surrounded by their thoughts:
“What if I can’t ever pass? Is passing even a meaningful concept for me?”
“What do they really think of me?”
“I am not brave enough to do this.”
“I’m letting other trans people down by being so unattractive.”
“If I end up deciding I’m a trans woman, I’ll be betraying nonbinary people.”
“What if people finally get used to my they/them pronouns but then I want to change to she/her? They’ll be so annoyed!”
“Will people ever use my pronouns?”
“I’m just appropriating the struggles of real trans people.”
“People are just pretending to be supportive.”
“I wish there were more people I could talk to about this.”
“How am I supposed to deal with this at work?”
“How angry will they be if I want to legally change my name?”
“They must think I’m delusional.”
“What if I got stranded on a deserted island with no hope of rescue? How would I shave?”

Xan is sitting down, clutching their knees to their chest, with a demented grin.
NARRATION: “My name is Xan. My gender is TBA.”
NARRATION: “Probably.”
XAN: “Haaaa… What if I never figure this out? Wouldn’t that be something?”